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How much space do we need in a relationship?
Our health and well-being is based on our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual health. One cannot exclude the other as all play a vital part in our health. We need one another and our emotional health is highly dependent on our relationships.
“In distant closeness, loves thrives. In wrong familiarity, love dies.”
Healthy relationships need room to breathe, grow, evolve and thrive.
A healthy combination of space and closeness gives each person room to grow, develop and evolve on their own individual timeline.
Given that, we recognize changes in one another which otherwise would be overseen. Failing to recognize changes, can violate trust and resentment can grow due to insensitivity.
Intimate relationships are a delicate dance and balance in order to respect and acknowledge each person’s own unique journey while staying connected in our hearts.
The privilege of sharing life while respecting and encouraging another to develop to their highest potential is truly a gift. It requires allowing space without controlling, manipulating or directing the other person’s feelings, behavior and actions. Closeness comes from trusting we are safe, respected and seen with our vulnerabilities without being taken advantage of. When we feel truly safe with another, we can be vulnerable, open and honest. The foundation of an authentic, mature and sincere relationship, creates that sacred space. Even in the event of being triggered, a moment of compassion is enough to restore calm and maintain equilibrium.
We all learn by trial and error, how to achieve healthy emotional relationships. The more we get to know ourselves, the easier it is to honor ourselves and another without taking anything personal. We all need to remember that whatever we project is an aspect of ourselves, not the other.
The relationship with our children is a good example. When we don’t agree with their behavior and try to control it, they become rebellious and defiant. As adults we use other strategies like stone-walling, shutting down, withdrawing or becoming angry, thinking it protects us while in actuality being destructive.
The art of authentic communication creates a baseline for honest expression, which hopefully evolves over time.
Good listening skills require being fully present. When we are taking time to listen, we are creating a pause, which is necessary and we can respond in a healthy manner. Defense mechanisms are instigated when we look to blame another without taking responsibility for ourselves.
We are all constantly changing and growing,
inevitably learning more about ourselves.
Life is a journey providing experiences in which we can create
more internal security and self-confidence by being honest
with ourselves. With humility as our guide, we can keep our hearts open and receptive to one another.